Dilbert's Words of Wisdom
Poor Dilbert (the cartoon character, for any who aren't familiar with him) has a cynical attitude, but often knows exactly what's going on and where the truth is buried.
Here are a few nuggets of wisdom from the Corporate World. Enjoy!
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit, and remove all evidence that you tried. No use being a damn fool about it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast, carry a clipboard, and look worried.
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