Just for fun - Dilbert's words of Wisdom n the corporate world

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

Poor Dilbert (the cartoon character, for any who aren't familiar with him) has a cynical attitude, but often knows exactly what's going on and where the truth is buried.

Here are a few nuggets of wisdom from the Corporate World. Enjoy!

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit, and remove all evidence that you tried. No use being a damn fool about it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast, carry a clipboard, and look worried.

You can find this item and lots more at the Pivotal Fun pages

Six Sanity-Saving Scenarios to Turn a Massive Breakdown into a Powerful Business Breakthrough

There I was. Depressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Despite my best efforts to have a smooth running ship and organize my event, I realized I had a significant breakdown in my process. I admit, it wasn’t the end of the world, but come on, I teach this stuff!

It was one week before we went live on our new program, we were preparing the workbooks for production, and I realized, no one ordered the right tabs! Yikes!

It got me thinking how a client of mine had shared a great story about their direct mail marketing campaign. A lot of money had been invested in buying a list of qualified candidates. But every step of the way there was breakdown in the process – the guy who formatted the list didn’t set it up right, the assistant didn’t have the proper envelopes, and they had no postage when they needed it. My client laughed as he told me this, but I knew he was frustrated!

Well, I’ve learned over the years that a breakdown means that something very valuable is happening – I have new insight into how I can improve my process, my attitude, or my belief so that problem never happens again.

Let’s look at a few examples of how breakdowns can occur in our business or life.

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Overcoming shyness to become an excellent leader

"Don't let timidity stop you from being an excellent leader. Get over your shyness and get your company on the path to success."

People skills are so important in management, whether you are managing a business or a community organisation. As usual Stever Robbins has the problem and its solution in a nutshell ...

"Q: I am very shy, but very ambitious. I started a company and am up to four employees. I spend much of my time in my office because it makes me uncomfortable to spend too much time being social and having meaningless conversations. I don't think this is a good character trait. How can I become more comfortable around people?

A: Bravo for addressing this now! As your company grows, people will look to you for leadership. Literally. They'll watch how you act on a day-to-day basis and will adjust their tone accordingly. Conversation from the boss, even if it's idle chit-chat, isn't meaningless. It creates culture and lets people know how to respond.

Here's one thing I can guarantee: If you stay in your office, they won't think you're shy."

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Hot Auction Prizes or Only In America!

Our friends from the US group Auctionpay (who kindly brought us the charity auction kit!) are reporting on the very latest hot auction items that are bringing in the big bucks at charity functions around the States.

And well the new 'trends' are eye openers!

According to the Auctionpay clients it seems the hottest items this year were medical services.

Raising the Bar: The Role of 'Social Information' in Charitable Giving

Suppose you work at an organization -- like a public radio station or public library -- that is about to launch a fund-raising drive to help cover operating expenses. How would you structure that drive? Are there ways to increase the amount of money that individual donors commit?

Wharton operations and information management professor Rachel Croson and a co-author set out to answer this question by examining the influence of social information on contribution behavior.

Their goal was to find out whether donors to a public radio station will give more money if they are told the amount of another donor's contribution.

The researchers present their findings in a paper entitled, "Field Experiments in Charitable Contributions: The Impact of Social Influence on the Voluntary Provision of Public Goods."

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More on fundraising

When leadership becomes a quest

[From the ezine of Leadership Wired]

The head of one of the nation's largest credit card issuers learned many lessons in a previous career as a management consultant that he now has the opportunity to apply in his own company.

Richard Fairbank, the chairman, president and CEO of Capital One Financial, shared some of these principles at a recent talk at the Wharton School (of the University of Pennsylvania). Knowledge@Wharton, the b-school's bi-weekly online resource, provided the following highlights in an article titled When Leadership Becomes a Quest.

People are your business's most important asset. "You can't find anybody in corporate America who doesn't agree with this, but their actions are inconsistent with that statement," Fairbank told his audience. An important part of a CEO's job—as well as that of any other leader—is recruiting and motivating employees.

Cast a compelling vision, but don't allow your desire to overshadow your humanity. People are more likely to work hard for and cooperate with leaders who are authentic. Fairbank says this involves "being vulnerable, being honest and showing your weaknesses as well as your bold dream."

Success isn't about an impressive title or large paycheck. Rather, "It's about having a dream, a quest," Fairbank said. "[My father] used to say that, 'It doesn't matter how big the quest is. What matters is how pure the quest is. You can own your own success by virtue of defining it as a quest.'"

People who work in a specific industry often don't see, or respond to, the changes taking place around them, according to Richard Fairbank, chairman, president and CEO of Capital One Financial. That's because the industry's conventional wisdom is so embedded in their brains that they don't notice how stale it has become. "There's an old Will Rogers saying that sums it up," said Fairbank, who gave a talk on leadership this fall at Wharton. "It ain't what he don't know that scares me. It's what he knows that just ain't so."

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The role of the newsletter in your fundraising

Steve Hitchcock discusses the role of the newsletter in your organization's fundraising:
"Publishing a newsletter at least four times a year is essential if your organization is serious about raising money through the mail. Even with web pages and on-line newsletters, almost all of those who send contributions to nonprofit groups prefer -- desire -- to receive a paper newsletter in the mail.

Your newsletter doesn't have to be fancy. In fact, your donors will appreciate a simple, easy-to-read publication. The advantage of a four-page newsletter (or eight-pages with lots of photos) is that your donors will read it right away. Anything more substantial and they'll set it aside to read later. And you know what happens then."
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